Twisted Stomach
by yumeneko
Summary: Goku eats yellow noodles. Lirin eats spaghetti with meat sauce. Hakkai and Yaone scream in terror and there are two girls from heaven who are destined NOT TO GOOF OFF! Oro! Transverstites??
1. DON'T EAT THE MONK!

Twisted Stomach

by yumeneko and ShinuHoshi

yumeneko: Ha ha! This is good... A collabration fic ^^ I'm so happy...

ShinuHoshi: Huh?

yumeneko: That's 'cause... (Looks at Goku)

Chapter 1: DON'T EAT THE......... monk *sweatdrop*

*Gulp, gulp, gulp*

Goku ate all the pork buns...

*Gulp, gulp, gulp*

Goku ate all the rice balls...

*Gulp, gulp, gulp*

Goku drank all the food on the table...

*Gulp, gulp, gulp*

"BAKAZAROU!" yelled Gojyo, "YOU DRANK ALL THE SAKE!!!"

Now, the monkey is drunk and he sees a golden noodle... The golden noodle looks so delicious... Looks like it was made with honey... The monkey is now drooling and he...

"SANZOOOOOOOO!!!" Hakkai cried as the monkey ate the corrupt monk, who unfortunately asleep due to some stupid reason...

----------

*Gobble, gobble, gobble*

Lirin ate all the pork buns...

*Gobble, gobble, gobble*

Lirin ate all the cake...

*Gobble, gobble, gobble*

Lirin ate all the food on the table...

*Gulp, gulp, gulp*

"Lirin-sama! You drank Dokugakuji's sake!" Yaone said shocked. Now the demon is drunk and she sees a meat sauce covered noodle... The meat

sauce covered noodle looks so delicious... Looks like it was made with

really good tomatoes... The demon is now drooling and she...

"KOUGAIJI-SAMA!" Yaone cried as the demon ate her brother, who was unfortunately hypnotized by Yaone's........ breasts.

-----------

Across the room, Dokugakuji saw Gojyo trying to comfort a sobbing Hakkai.

"What's the matter with him?" He asked.

"Saaaanzooooooo......." Hakkai cried.

"Is he gay??" Dokugakuji asked with a confused look.

"No way!!" Gojyo yelled, "Now, all we have to do is know how to get the corrupt monk out of the monkey..." 

"And Lirin's brother out of Lirin." Dokugakuji chimed in. As they looked at Yaone and Hakkai, they were in shock...

Yaone and Hakkai were stomping on the heads of their respective 

gluttons...

"Waaaaaaaaaa! Stop! Stop! Raaaape!" Dokugakuji shouted. Suddenly he saw 

the

stomping stopped. He looked at the two madly stomping people. Yaone and Hakkai's eyes were glittering.

"Ahem?"  Dokugakuji said with a slight smile. That is... a nervous smile.

As for the other two's eyes, which were glittering, glittering with madness.

Soon, there were trays, glasses, plates, forks and even tables and chairs flying through the ceiling and hitting the poor Dokugakuji.

"Aah! Aah! Hakkai! Yaone-san!" Gojyo shouted as he stood in front of his

*ahem* 'Brother'.

"Stooaoop!!!" Eventually, the two did. Gojyo stopped the remaining chairs that were flying. His metal stick disappeared and he turned to look at Yaone and Hakkai. He smiled, smiled, frowned and screamed.

"Saaaaanzooooo!!!" "Kougaiji-sama!!!" The two screamed in horror.

Thus, the throwing begun again. However, this time, all of them landed on Gojyo and might we add some plates hitting Dokugakuji, Goku and Lirin.

And so as Hakkai and Yaone continued to rage on, two girls appeared out of nowhere in a nearby forest.

"Yare, yare... Why did Kanzeon-sama send us here?? There are only three

good-looking men, one buxom woman and two puny gluttons in our mission..." The girl with cat ears asked the other one who was currently playing with her tail. She popped a vein.

"STOP THAT!!!" The girl with cat ears shouted, her face turning into a deep 

shade of red. Nah, she was not blushing, she was enraged.

"What?!" The other one shouted. She was also a girl but she had dark violet hair. Normal ears, normal eyes, normal human figure, however, the normal thingy does not go with her appearance...

"What do you mean 'what'?! Kono yarou!!" The cat girl shouted. She had pink hair and green eyes. Her face and body was of a normal human except for her cat ears and tail. In a silly way, she was pretty much smaller compared to the normal human being.

"Oh, shut the hell up." The other one crossed her arms and raised a brow.

"Did you just say the H-word?" The cat girl asked. She was pointing at the human and she had the funny-chibi-face.

"Whatever. Let's get this on with." She turned and started walking.

"Matte yo! We aren't supposed to show ourselves to them like this..." She said pointing at their heavenly attires. Her ears wiggling and her tail was swinging at her back.

"What's wrong with it?!" 'Thwack' The one with violet hair was holding a 

fan, similar to the one Sanzo has.

The cat girl was holding her head. Her tail swung madly at her back tears were flowing from her eyes. 'Thwack' "Baka! We're currently wearing an unsuitable dress for this earth!" She was also holding a fan. It was a fake crying.

"Right!" The other one raised her hand. "Wait. What do you mean unsuitable?" She asked innocently.

"Nyao... I don't know why Kanzeon-bosatsu even sent you with me!" She 

tugged on the other girl's hand and went to a hidden path, "Just remember that Kanzeon-sama didn't send us here to fool around!"

"Hai... hai..."


	2. Deep In The Forest NYAO!

Twisted Stomach

by yumeneko and ShinuHoshi

yumeneko: Lots and lots of OOC!

Chapter 2: Deep in the forest... NYAO!

*Thwack, thwack, thwack, thwack*

The four in the restaurant heard the thwackings of a fan.

"Sanzo!!" Hakkai wailed with tears in his eyes as he tried to get out of the restaurant. Gojyo, unfortunately, was holding him back. 

"Nan da to? Oi, Doku, let's go investigate..."

And so the two 'brothers' went towards the forest where they heard the thwackings.

"Nani!" Doku gaped at the two girls clad in heavenly attire. And of course, they both had chakras on their foreheads and the cat-girl was whacking the purple-haired one yelling, "Baka! The restaurant's this way!"

"Nyao??" The cat-girl stopped her whacking, "Nyao! You must be Dokugakuji and Sha Gojyo! Kanzeon Bosatsu sent us here to help you. Atashi no namae wa Gesan Niyako, this is my accomplice in this mission..."

The purple-haired girl took Niyako's speech saying, "Watashi wa Joukuu Issei. We're both goddesses."

"We know, we know..." Doku sweatdropped.

"So, do you know any way to get Sanzo and Kougaiji back?" Gojyo asked.

"Sou da! Sou da!" Niyako's eyes sparkled.

"Soda?" Gojyo lifted an eyebrow.

"Baka kappa!" Niyako hit Gojyo with the never-dying fan, "I have a potion here that may help, but this has some side effects, though..."

"Oh no..." Issei covered her head, "Not the..."

"THROW-UP POTION VERSION 2.0!!" Niyako cheered, "Untested of course..."

"You're worse than Ni Jen Yi..." Gojyo slapped his forehead. 

"Hai, hai..." Niyako scratched behind her cat ears.

"Don't mind her... they say cats are a form of the Goddess of Mercy, and believe me, Kanzeon Bosatsu's just a wacky as Niya-chan here..." Issei whispered to the two.

"By the way, if you're a goddess, why do you look like that??" Doku lifted an eyebrow.

"Long story..." Niyako hit Doku with the same fan, "I'll tell if we finish the mission!"

"Doushite..." Issei sweatdropped, "You're not the great *wacky* Kanzeon Bosatsu..."

"Oh yeah, then how 'bout this..." The cat-goddess replied as she put an amp on her throat and said in a booming voice, "I AM THE GREAT GESAN NIYAKO! AHAHAHAHAHA!!"

"This is silly enough... Back to the restaurant..." Gojyo sweatdropped.

"Ah! Ki wo tsukete, Gojyo!" Issei cautioned as a mine planted there blew up on the ero-kappa, "That's a trap set by the villagers to destroy the demons in this town..."

"Wow..." Doku blinked, "That was accurate."


	3. BARF!

Twisted Stomach

by yumeneko and ShinuHoshi

yumeneko: Lots and lots of OOC! I didn't know Hakkai was in such 

depression...

Chapter 3: BARF!

After 10 hours of creating the THROW-UP POTION VERSION 3.0, Niyako goes...

"Issei-chan! I think I've got it!"

"Hontou ni?"

"Don't just 'Hontou ni?' give it to Goku!"

"Really now? Are you sure this doesn't have any side-effects?"

"Hai. Now if you don't mind... I feel like using Gojyo as a guinea pig."

"Thank God you're not using Jiroushin..."

And so Issei went over to the badly bruised Goku and fed him the THROW-UP POTION VERSION 3.0. Hakkai watched as he murmured, "Sanzo... Sanzo... I never got to say I love you..."

Gojyo on the other hand was about to have his brains exchanged with a 

chicken...

And so Goku threw up and...

Something was hoping...

"Gods! A rabbit came out of Goku's mouth!" Issei exclaimed.

Barf.

"Zaru! You're not supposed to eat your own kind!"

Barf.

"What the heck--? A cow?" Niyako stared in awe.

Barf.

"Goku! You're supposed to eat normal fish! NOT ANGLER FISHES!!! THOSE THINGS GIVE YOU NIGHTMARES AND WIERD SLEEPING HABITS!!!" Niyako wailed, her cat ears twitching with disgust.

Barf.

"DAMN ZAROU! NOW WONDER I CAN'T FIND MY OTHER PAIR OF SHOES!" Gojyo shouted.

Barf.

"EEEEEEEW!!!" Issei shouted as water with different food contents covered the damn floor.

"I think I'm gonna be sick..." Dokugakuji ran outside.

"Yeah... My shoes smell like spit!" Gojyo held his nose.

Hakkai the paranoid, came up to Goku and shook him with rage, "BARF SANZO OUT... NOW!!!"

But all Goku can do was burp and stare at the two goddesses, "Aren't you two from heaven? That office near Konzen's?"

"Uh oh..." Issei stood still.

"He's recovering his lost memories!" Niyako said.


	4. Gaiden Galore! God save the Gaiden!

Twisted Stomach

by yumeneko and ShinuHoshi

yumeneko: Great... Now the Gaiden has fallen into this mess...

Chapter 4: Gaiden galore!

"No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no no. We're the ones next to the one next to

Konzen's room." Issei explained.

'THWACK'

"BAKA!!! YOU'RE NOT HELPING!!!" Niyako screeched.

"Aaouch!" Issei whimpered while clutching her lump on the head and 

crouched down on the floor. "But the one next to Konzen's room was Gian, your ex..." Issei stood up "You know the one you caught..."

'THWACK'

"I KNOW!!!" Niyako had smokes coming out of her ears.

"Excuse us, but what the hell are we supposed to do now?!" Gojyo kindly butted in.

"YEAH! And what about my poor Kougaiji-sama?!?" Yaone wailed as she violently pulled Niyako's cat-ears.

"Osaete! Osaete, Yaone-san!" The cat-girl pleaded as her ears were 

pulled, "The best we can do now, besides making THROW-UP POTION VERSION 4.0, would be to make Goku burp up Sanzo. I don't know what the potion would do to Lirin, but it's worth trying..."

Meanwhile, Goku was still getting beaten up by Hakkai...

"BURP YOU STUPID MONKEY!!! BURP!!!" Hakkai wailed.

"But then, who are you? Who is this Sanzo? And who are these people?? Niya-neechan, Issei-neechan! Tasukete!!" Goku wailed in pain as he tried 

to reach for Issei and Niyako.

"What do we do now???" Issei asked.

'THWACK'

"Baka! If I knew that I would have been doing it already!"

"Just get Lirin to barf my Kougaiji-sama already!!!" Yaone yelled.

So Lirin drunk the potion and the same effects happened. The good thing 

that Kougaiji was saved and Yaone went back to her happy, calm disposition.

But the bad thing was...

"Goku... I love you..." Lirin swooned as she inched towards Goku.

"Who are you?" Goku asked, "You're cute..."

"You don't remember?" Lirin pouted, "Oira wa Lirin desu!" And thinking quick, she said, "I'm your girlfriend!"

"Wow..." Gojyo and Dokugakuji gaped.

"Hey... Maybe the trick here is to do the Heimleck maneuver!" Niyako 

piped up as she inched towards Lirin to tell her what to do.

So Lirin, pretending to hug Goku preformed the Heimleck and Sanzo popped out. Hakkai was so happy that he kissed Sanzo hard right in front of everybody.

"Wow..." Everybody gaped.

"Now what do we do about Lirin who has convinced Goku that she is his girlfriend?" Yaone asked the two goddesses.

"That's it! All we'll have to do is watch what happens. All I know is, 

Goku has lost the memories he recieved after his past memories were erased. And besides that, Goku's remembered heaven..." Issei explained.

"Well then, that means that the only people he remembers in this room are the two of you?" Gojyo asked.

"Well... he knows Lirin..." Niyako looked at the two.

Goku looked at the people's or need i say 'demon's'... around the room. Then 

he started laughing and everybody turned their attention to him...

"Hahahahaha!!! I remember Auntie Neko being dumped by that guy who she 

thought liked her back!!!" With this Niyako's head was turning red, 

including her hair, and smoke was coming out of her ears.

"Hahahahaha!!! A-and-and she even kissed him in front of Konzen!"

"Konzen 'Thacked' her with his famous holy fan! Then she got dumped!"

'THWACK' 'THWACK' 'THWACK'

"He he he..." Gojyo... Anyways, he turned to look at Sanzo and Hakkai who were doing 'it' on the marble floor...

"Hay, guys... There's a room upstairs... No need..." The two didn't seem to hear him... They continued...

"Saa... What should we do next???" Issei asked.

"We could... do something about Kougaiji since Yaone is missing and probably killing herself now... But first! We need to get those two a room..." Everyone sweatdropped, excluding Goku who was lying on the floor... unconscious.


	5. A Long, long, long, long, long, long tim...

Twisted Stomach

by yumeneko and ShinuHoshi

yumeneko: More Gaiden to screw this day...

ShinuHoshi: more screwing... more... lemon... (laughs evilly)NYAHAHAHA

Chapter 5: A Long, Long, Oh So Very Long Time Ago...

*500 years back...*

Goku looked at Konzen busy with his papers.

"Konzen... Why don't you let me play with Nataku today?"

"Go ahead and do whatever you want, bakazarou..."

"Yatta! Arigatou, Konzen!"

Konzen waited until Goku went away...

"Yatta... I get private time in that library of Tenpou's..."

---

Meanwhile in the office a room away from Konzen's, Issei and Niyako were 

busy with their potions...

"What are we supposed to do with this again???" Issei asked absentmindedly.

"Shh! You'll blow everything up!" Niyako scolded behind huge goggles.

"You're the one who's shouting I was merely---" Issei whispered back.

"Whatever... Now, are you sure you calculated this right?" Niyako asked ask she whipped out her calculator.

"Of course! Remember that you even threatened me and my---"

"Yeah-yeah. Let's get this done with."

-----

"Saa..." Konzen whispered as he teased his lover.

"Matte, Konzen! The others might come in and---hmprhfm" Tenpou murmured, but before he could finish his sentence, Konzen covered his mouth in a passionate kiss.

"You know very well that I'm not a man with the virtue of patience..." Konzen sighed.

"But---hrpfmrf." Tenpou was kissed again.

"Tenpou?" Konzen sighed again a little ticked off. 

"Mm?" Tenpou fixed his glasses on the bridge of his nose.

"Shut up." His lover smiled. 

"But it'll be scanda---hrmpf... mmmmmmm..." Tenpou panicked, but before he would finish the sentence, Konzen took him down... Erm... Erm... I musn't narrate...

-----

"What's this potion for?" Issei asked the catty goddess.

"BAKA! You mean to tell me you made and calculated this potion without 

knowing of its effects?!!!" Niyako hit Issei with her fan.

"Aaouw... Turn the volume down... Uhuh... Why?" Issei rubbed the bump on her head.

"-Sigh- You may be a merciless goddess when it comes to battles but you sure are one hell of a trouble when it comes to outside the field..." The catty goddess sweatdropped.

"Huh?"

"I mean that even men fear you on the battle field and you... oh never mind." Niyako shook her head as she recalculated the potion, "Perhaps if I change the amount of helium here, I might be able to make Jiroushin fly... without making his voice sound like a voice on fast-forward..."

"I'll be out, Niya-chan..." Issei smiled as she left the catty goddess to her exploding work.

"Yatta..." Niyako breathed fire, "I just created a new type of fire-breath potion... Might be useful in the battlefield... MUST TELL TENPOU-SAN, NATAKU-SAN AND KENREN-SAN!!!"

And so the cat-girl, gathering up all her best potions into a black bag, set off to tell the gods... 

-----

"Mou..." Gian sighed as he fixed all his calculations, "Madmoiselle Gesan will fry me if I don't submit these calculations for a new... silence potion? Under Monsieur Gensui's request?? And there have been rumors..." He scratched his red hair. 

-----

"French..." Goku laughed as he told Nataku about Gian, "That multi-lingual red-head is speaking in French today!"

"How didja know it was French??" Nataku asked Goku.

"Konzen yelled at Gian after Gian was caught singing French Love Songs. Konzen said, 'SHUT THAT FRIGGING FRENCH UP!!'" Goku laughed.

Nataku pondered a bit and said, "Isn't it true that Konzen had been visiting Tenpou more often these days?"

"That's right... Auntie Neko says that Ten-chan had been ordering a silence potion for no such reason at all..." Goku nodded.

"Auntie Neko?? Oh! Gesan Niyako. The potions goddess who takes care of combining chemicals for the military!"

"I learn a lot from her! And from Issei-neechan, too!"

"Don't you think Niyako-san would be offended if you'd call her Auntie??"

"She didn't mind! In fact, she gave me a lollipop once after she invented a new non-fat sugar that gives you an instant sugar-rush!" Goku said genkily.

"Ehh..." Nataku sweatdropped at all the complicated words Goku used.

"I dunno what that means, but Auntie Neko said those!" Goku laughed.

-----

"Bakazarou..." 

-----

"Gian..." Niyako purred as she walked though the corridors, "I love french... Oh... I'm at Tenpou-san's room... Ehh?" She looked at a small sign hanging from the door.

'Do not disturb. Experiment going on.'

Niyako blinked twice and went off in search of Kenren and the rest...


	6. Whorehouse? I don't think so, Niyako!

Twisted Stomach

by yumeneko and ShinuHoshi

yumeneko: OK! We're back!

ShinuHoshi: YAY!!! Can we do lemonny 'chappies'???

Chapter 6: Back to the Present

Goku was still unconscious as Sanzo and Hakkai were being stared at.

"What?!" Sanzo complained as everyone stared as they did it for the 12th

time.

'THWACK'

"What do you mean 'what'?!" Niyako was... very... umm... let's say, jealous?

"Woah. I cannot believe this... she 'thwacked' Sanzo... This chick is

brave..." Gojyo uttered with a nice view of his complete teeth.

"Stop that!!! You're soaking the floor with your, your, your...ARGH!!!"

'THWACK'

"Get your butts up to your rooms!"

"Maa maa... Your blood temperature, Niyako-san." Issei tried to tranquilize

Niyako.

"You'll see how calm you are when I...!" Niyako's ears turned as red as 

Gojyo's

hair and she started hissing like a real cat. But after a while, Niyako 

slumped

to the ground and sighed.

Gojyo peeked at the motionless Niyako on the floor and cheered, "First-class

job!!!"

"I just thought we could do this without bells ringing on our ears." Issei

covered her ears.

"Yeah... ummm... yeah." Gojyo blinked as he removed the cotton from his 

ears.

"Gojyo-san, could you please take Sanzo? I'll take Hakkai." Issei asked.

"Uh," Gojyo looked at the indecent people, "Yeah, no prob!"

Gojyo approached the two. Placed his feet on each side of Sanzo, placed his

hands on its shoulders and pulled him up.

"What the--?!" Gojyo dropped Sanzo as he heard Hakkai react.

"Sanzo!!!" Hakkai was, as usual, over reacting. He ran towards the

unconscious Sanzo on the floor, he lifted Sanzo's head and placed it on top 

of

his chest, "Sanzo!! speak up!!!"

"I think he's over-reacting..." Issei sweatdropped.

"How oft when men are at the point of death. Have they been merry! Which 

their

keepers call a lightning before death. O, how may I call this is a 

lightning? O

my love; my husband! Death, that hath the honey of thy breath, Hath had no 

power

yet upon thy beauty. Thou art not conquered. Beauty's ensign yet Is crimson 

in

thy lips and in thy cheeks, And death's pale flag is not advancèd there." 

Hakkai

bawled.

"Shakespeare?!" Niyako got off the floor shocked and looked to Gojyo.

"Memorize... He's a genius!" The two goddessess jaw-dropped as Gojyo 

explained.

"Did you just say... genius?" Niyako's face went all scary and she fainted.

After seven minutes.

"There! That should keep the two of these perverts quiet for a whole day." 

Issei

put Hakkai beside Sanzo on a bed.

Gojyo and Issei just finished depositing the two men on their bed.

"Where's your partner?" Gojyo asked sarcasticly.

"I gave her, her own room. For when she wakes up, she'll surely get her 

hands on

the first thing she sees."

"Oh."

"Is Miss Yaone alright?"

"Yeah, she'll be fine after three cases of beer." Gojyo snickered.

"Oh, come on. The woman was depressed. We still have to get Kougaiji-sama."

"Kougaiji-'sama'?" Gojyo walked outside the room and closed the door then he

stares at Issei as they walked out.

"Where are Goku and Lirin?"

Gojyo threw his head back and laughed.

"What's so fun---" Niyako rushed out of her room, "You placed them on one 

room!!!!"

"Yeah, so what?" Gojyo huffed.

"What do you mean 'so what?!' Lirin is quite obsessed with Goku for the past 

twelve hours!" The cat-girl thwacked Gojyo.

"I'm sure they're having fun!"

"OMAE!!" Niyako stepped on Gojyo's head, "YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE!! 

KANZEON BOSATSU WILL TELL US WE WERE MAKING A WHOREHOUSE OUTTA THIS!!!"

"You're worse than Sanzo..."

"Of course... I'm a goddess..." Niyako laughed evilly.

"Don't mind her... She's just jealous that she doesn't have a love..." Issei 

laughed to Gojyo.


	7. Waitaminit! Kanzeon's gonna kill us!

Twisted Stomach

by yumeneko and ShinuHoshi

yumeneko: Hmm... whorehouse? Kanzeon will kill them! The hills are alive 

with le-moooooon!

ShinuHoshi: Yay! WAIT... aren't you supossed to say "the hills are alive with the sound of moaning...". NYAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Lemon!!! Lemon!!! Lemon!! Anyone dare to say this fic is stupid... I KILL!!!

Chapter 7: Kanzeon Will Kill Us

"Kanzeon Bosatsu!"

"Yes, Jiroushin..."

"Kanzeon Bosatsu!"

"Yes, Jiroushin..."

"Kanzeon Bosatsu!!"

"YES, what the frigging hell do you want, Jiroushin!!!"

"Those goddesses you've sent have created an indecent event out of the

mission!"

"Don't mind, Jiroushin... It's interesting..."

"Yeah!" Jiroushin paused as his face turned strawberry red, "What?! Interesting?"

"Yes, now go play along and shut up. Leave me alone." Kanzeon Bosatsu

ordered as she waved her hand in goodbye to him.

And so... Jiroushin left with a bowed head and a sigh.

Back to the damnation sexy woman goddess. She grinned and silently 

whispered some words. She stared at the water.

"My my... It seems Miss I-know-it-all is having trouble controlling those hyper kids. And... Our little baby's falling for a taboo... Bad." Still, even though she agreed that it was a bad idea to continue these things that were happening already... She smiled and let things happen. After all Gods and Goddesses where only meant to watch and learn. She softly sighed and looked at her back. There was a kid sitting on a chair. His head down, His hair was tied in a high ponytail, his bangs covering his little face.

"Should I let this little charade continue? What will you do if you were in my current position...?" She moved towards the boy and placed a light hand on his shoulder. She sighed... but this time, it was a worried sigh.

"Nataku... If I don't stop this, undesirable happenings will happen and 

they might even break one or two..... all the rules of heaven... But... if I stop now..." She looked back at the water and slowly walked towards it. She stopped a few steps away from it. She saw two happy girls with contented men around the two... They seem to be comfortable with one another.

"If I stop now... I will take their happiness... and surely break what's left of their already torn hearts." She sighed once more.

"What to do..."

+---+

Back to earth, Niyako was running around frantically searching for a way to end this whole ruckus.

"Nyao! What am I to do! Nyao! Kanzeon's gonna kill me!!" She scratched the back of her furry ears and sat down, "This reminds me of the time I had almost transformed into a cat... I can't believe a little ruckus like that would have left me permanently disfigured." Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted a mouse. She frantically chased after it and caught it in her hand. As Dokugakuji got into the room, he found Niyako about to eat the small furry rodent.

"What the hell are you doing??" He asked her.

"Eating... What else is there to eat...?" Niyako hummed as she dangled the brown mouse from its tail.

"You're quite inhuman..." He sweatdropped.

"I know... But I can't help it... I have aquired half of a cat's instincts..." Niyako smiled, still dangling the poor creature by its tail.

"Mademoiselle Niyako!!" A man entered the room. Niyako's ears flattenned against her head and she hissed at who was coming. "What the hell do you want, Gian? It's over..." Niyako's green eyes narrowed into a feral glance.

"You're making a huge ruckus over this mission! Heaven is disappointed!" Gian stepped forward.

"And why the hell are you here anyway?" Niyako hissed.

"Kami-sama sent me... I really didn't want to, but Kami-sama insisted that I must bring you and Mademoiselle Issei back to heaven for punishment for screwing up the mission and breaking the laws of heaven!" Gian said with a hint of fraility.

"Is that so? What law did we break?" The Cat-girl rolled her eyes.

"Issei has fallen in love with Sha Gojyo which is forbidden. And you are doing experiments on helpless mortals!" Gian pointed his finger at her.

"Cool off... We were sent by Kanzeon Bosatsu... She's the one who should be defending us... She sent us for a reason, y'know."

"Then why the heck didn't she order me!! I'm more responsible than potion-concocting you!" Gian wailed, his voice sounding like some sort of gay.

"Are you a transverstite?" Dokugakuji cut in.

"I am!" Gian admitted joyfully.

"Forget it..."

"That Kanzeon Bosatsu has a really screwed way of picking people for the mission... First she sends demons with a corrupt monk, then she sends two irresponsible potion-makers from heaven!" Gian huffed.

"Your interference with this mission is forbidden, fool!" Niyako blew him away with a gust of wind.

"So," A familiar voice came from behind them as Niyako harshly breathed in and out from anger because of Gian. Niyako's cat-like body tense and her tail stopped its wagging, it stayed put and so did her ears. She slowly turned around and saw the person she wished was fifty thousand miles away when Gian said those words. She opened her mouth but she was cutted off. 

"When we go back to heaven, we'll get punished or worse, which I don't want to bring up. On the other hand, we can't stay in this mortal world..." Issei stopped for awhile and looked down on the floor. Her hands that were dangling from her sides were now turned into fists. 

"We don't belong here."

She looked up with a serious mask covering her true face.

Niyako's face fell. She too didn't want to leave and go back to the miserable work-work-work boring place that were supposed to be reserved for the two of them in heaven. Sure, they were one of the high rankers in heaven. They give orders and commands those with lower ranks. Others bow down in their presence and give them respect. Most of their allies and enemies feared them... but, it wasn't anything near what they've experienced here on this mortal world that they were currently mingling.

Niyako didn't want to leave or better yet, she 'never' wanted to leave. She liked living with these mortals and here, fun means nothing closer to bloodsheds. And yes, they do work too but it's different when you're surrounded by such idiot people like the brothers Dokugakuji and Gojyo, serious humans like Kougaiji and Sanzo, childish mortals like Goku and 

Lirin, and caring people like Yaone and Hakkai.

Life, 'if they had any' Niyako thought, was far much better working, living and loving people who understand what you've been through... coz, they've lived through it... like you.

Then... unexpectedly, Niyako and Issei smiled. Dokugakuji blinked and stared from Niyako to Issei and from Issei to Niyako. Doku got a huge animated sweatdrop behind his head and animated period eyes.

"I guess this means a hell lot of fun, ne?" Issei said the H-word again but Niyako never minded it.

"Yes... and I know we'll pass through it, because..."

Suddenly, Sanzo and Hakkai walked inside the room, holding each other's 

hands. Goku, with Lirin groping at his arm. Kou and Yaone with their hands on each other's waists. Then Gojyo came and as usual with his charade of smiles.

Gojyo nodded a 'hi' to Issei and he turned a little shade of red. Issei returned the nod and smiled.

Niyako got over her worries and started smiled at everyone at the room.

Issei smiled truthfully, with no masks or what-so-ever. It was real, and that was all that matters.


	8. Uh oh! War hath come!

Twisted Stomach

by yumeneko and ShinuHoshi

yumeneko: WE ARE REBELS!! Bwahahahahahaha!

ShinuHoshi: I don't like the sound of the word 'rebel'... oh well.

Chapter 8: Rebels

Up in heaven, Gian reported to kami-sama, "My lord, those two high-ranked potion makers are rebelling against heaven! In fact, Gesan Niyako has even attacked me in the process!"

"Imbecile! You were supposed to take drastic measures to take them back into heaven!"

"I know... But I caaaaaan't!!"

"That's the problem with sending transverstites..." Kami-sama sweatdropped.

---

"Well then! Does that mean that we're staying here?" Niyako asked Issei.

"I think so... Either that or go to heaven and tell them what we want." I guess the Tenkai army must be coming here anytime now... Issei thought as she studied everybody.

"Hmm... Good point there! Yaone-chan, would you like to try out the special Tenkai bombs I make for the army? Or maybe the poisons I've got?" Niyako smiled at Yaone.

"Are there other potion makers in heaven?" Hakkai asked.

"Of course there are! You don't think Auntie Neko would work alone creating all those bombs and potions for a million soldiers!" Goku flailed his arms around.

"So you mean..." Dokugakuji started.

"We've got the upper hand here!" Kougaiji cheered.

In the distance, Hakuryu spotted a flurry of soldiers, "Kyuuu! Kyuuuu!"

"They're here!" Sanzo said.

"Damn!" Gojyo and Dokugakuji both cursed. "What do we do?!" Gojyo panicked.

"I don't know." Issei told them.

"Aren't the two of you nervous?" Doku asked them, panicking was on his voice.

"Nervous? It isn't in our vocabulary." Niyako huffed. Then she turned to Issei. "Right?"

"Eh?" Issei tilted her head and said, "I don't know."

Niyako raised a fist and smoke came out of her ears. "Grr.." She put down her fist and brushed it through her hair. "If you just weren't..." she sighed and turned to the others.

"Sanzo and Hakkai." She called them and the two focused their attention on her. "You take the left side." They nodded. Then she turned and pointed a finger at the brothers, "Gojyo And Doku, you--" she ran out of words.

"Everyone take down all that you can." Issei cutted in and Niyako closed her mouth as her hand dropped at her side. She had a stubborn look on her face. 

Issei added, "This is one battle we can't use planning or tactics. This is a battle to the end." Everyone nodded and formed an almost curved vertical line.

Niyako sighed and gestured her hand into a whatever. She followed everyone and they started to get ready.

Goku got his nyoibo out and held it with both his hands. He was smiling, like he usually does, and was on his ready to attack form. "I'm sooo excited!!! Let's fight!" He shouted and he thwacked the enemy with his nyoibo. Lirin got hyped as well and started to hit the enemy hard.

Hakkai talked to Sanzo with his smile and Sanzo with his 'I'm going to kill you' face as he reloaded his gun with new bullets. Hakkai kissed Sanzo on the cheeks and whispered something in his ear. Sanzo half smiled and played with his gun.

Kougaiji has already started his summoning engokuki. Sweat was rolling down from his forehead to his temples.

Doku was polishing his blade with a piece of cloth, which was shredded because of the sharp edge. He looked at his reflection in it for a while.

Issei and Gojyo were talking and laughing. Gojyo kept scratching his head as he tells jokes and Issei laughs. Issei holds his weapon as she insisted upon holding it.

Niyako and Yaone were on the ground, sitting... Niyako's tail was wagging furiously because of excite ment upon using her inventions. They were examining some bombs and poisons that Niyako recommended that they use for the fight. Yaone clapped as she saw different kinds of bombs with different kinds of chemicals inside.

As the enemies came to a stop, all of them turned to look at the Tenkai army. Niyako and Yaone stood up as everyone got ready for the biggest fight they would ever have.

"So, our potion-concocting traitors got allies, eh?" An old man with white hair and beard on the front of the army said with sarcasm. He wickedly smiled to Niyako and Issei.


	9. Yahoo!

Twisted Stomach

by yumeneko and ShinuHoshi

yumeneko: Hey look! It's an old man! What's he doin' in this fic??

ShinuHoshi: ooooh... an oldie... will he create havoc?

Chapter 9: Let's Get It ON!

Niyako flattened her cat ears against her head, "Grandpa Enjou... What the hell are you doing here??"

The old man growled and barked, "Issei! Niya! How dare you disrespect Heaven and break the rules!"

"Who's this old man?" Kougaiji's brow went up.

"That's Enjou Taisho... Another general in heaven. Ironically, he's the same old man who introduced Niyako's mother to my mother. So there. That's why me and Niyako have been together for a long time. He also used to tell me and Niya war stories back in heaven when we were kids." Issei sighed.

"You two better come peacefully, or else I'll have to wage war against you girls!" Enjou roared with a sabre in the air.

"C'mon... Let's teach this old man a lesson..." Lirin cheerfully punched her fist into the palm of her other hand.

"Do we have tooo???" Issei whined.

Niyako darted a fearsome look upon Issei and mouthed 'quit it'. Issei sighed and nodded.

"Just make sure Grandpa Enjou doesn't get hurt... I don't wanna injure my elders." Niyako smiled at the rest of the group, "So! First we attack the troops. Once the troops are gone, Grandpa Enjou will most likely go away."

"Nice strategy!" Hakkai clapped.

"LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!" Gojyo shouted as his -metal thingie- appeared out of nowhere and into his hand.

"This is gonna be a piece of cake, man." Sanzo proclaimed as he checked out his gun for one last time.

"Yay! We fight!!!" Lirin and Goku exclaimed as they jumped up and down.

'Bang' "Maa maa...(+_+!"

The two stopped jumping and stared at each other with a sweatdrop on their heads.

"I think it's time for light exercise." Doku grinned as he placed his big sword on his shoulder.

"Everyone seems to be excited, ne Kougaiji-sama?"

"Of course, it's a big 'show-off' fight..."

"Hey, Issei, if you want to, you can stay back on this battle. I won't force you, you know." Niyako asked as she placed a hand on Issei's shoulder.

"Thank you." Issei smiled and took a few steps back and kneeled on the ground.


End file.
